Darts v Football
- Posted on December 23, 2007 10:21 PM
- 0 comments
By Christopher Todd
There is something rotten afoot in the world of football. For many years now there has been a slow and expensive transformation from it being the sport of the working man to what it is now, a commodity, no longer a sport but a global money making form of entertainment.
Since Euro ’96, the world has woken up to the obscene amount of money which can be made out of football and are all taking their piece of the pie. The influx of foreign players who moved to the Premiership in the aftermath of ’Euro 96 has improved the quality and entertainment aspect of the premier league but to the detriment to the English team, the recent failure to qualify for Euro 08 holds testament to this.
Then of course, there are the scandals, the corruption and the lies, general bad behaviour from players, bungs and ex Prime Ministers splashing their blood money around the blue half of Manchester and as for Roman Abramovich….there MUST be a story there waiting to be uncovered.
What of the players, oh, the players, giving that amount of money to stupid people has got to be dangerous, those ponced up, preening, self important prima donnas with no grip on reality who can do some of the most amazing things with ONE of their feet but unfortunately struggle reading anything beyond Peter and Jane books, bless em.
The money being haemorrhaged into football is being ploughed into ostentatious stadiums and over-priced players and their wages, there are no crumbs falling from the table, in fact those crumbs are becoming increasingly expensive which in turn has transformed football from a luxury for the man on the street into a luxury entertainment form for the middle classes giving a royal two fingers to the people who put football where it is in the first place…….
…..This is why I nominate darts as the replacement for football, darts has stayed true to its grass roots and what with television coverage coming back to the small screen, and it’s poised to make a long awaited comeback.
It’s the anti sport, sport and the players are anti-sportsmen, no hair gel, fancy hair, stupid tattoos which spell twat in Gaelic, no feigning injuries or diving, just blokes, big blokes, big hairy blokes, standing and throwing bits of silver at a board, doesn’t sound like too much fun but try it and see how quickly you get sucked in.
The recent grand slam was possibly the most exacting televised sporting event of the year, great players such as Phil THE POWER Taylor, Raymond Barneveld up against hot new things like Terry Jenkins (crazy name, crazy facial hair) and Andy THE HAMMER Hamilton who looks a bit like Phil Mitchell but probably doesn’t still live with his mum.
Darts is a sport where big beefy blokes become tired after they have to play two matches in a row but it could also be the mental tiredness, the swift nature of the calculations they make to get down from 501 to zero would have even maths genius Carol Vorderman saying “god DAMN!”
Big beefy blokes, real men, moustaches, rings on every finger, Elizabeth Dukes finest round their neck men, yeah, looking good! None of this back, sack and crack crap for these guys, the hairier the better. A nickname for one of the players is SILVERBACK, presumably due to the fact he even has hair sprouting from under his finger nails let alone his back, a man possibly so hairy even Chewbacca would be saying “wow dude, SHAVE!”.
There is no in-depth dissection of matches like you get with football, it’s just from 501 to zero, no incessant moanings of “If I was in charge I’d do this…”….Well sonny Jim, there may be a reason why he is earning thousands of pounds a week whilst you put the world to rights with interesting football tactics and statistics.
This is the reason why I no longer follow football, (well, that and that I support Leeds and most tv coverage doesn’t go down the leagues tht far)….so, darts as the sport of choice for the UK….who’s with me??
NOTE: The reviewer's opinions are not necessarily those of Seatwave. Maybe you disagree... or maybe you think Chris has hit the sporty nail on the head. Wax lyrical in our comments section.
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